Friday, March 26, 2010

With Self

In the past when I went to a restaurant the maitre d' would ask, "Are you alone?" I would answer yes, and he would lead me to the worst table, near the kitchen or the bussing station, which I would refuse. Things have improved, but occasionally I'm greeted with the same question. Now I answer, "I'm with myself."

Recently as I spend time with myself, I'm drawn to people doing the same. This woman reads with her legs in the surf.

The man greets the sea, tai chi fashion.

And this boy digs in the sand.

They are content, and so am I, as I walk along the shore, though I can hardly claim to lunch with myself at Cafe Las Olas, which yesterday was crowded as usual, mostly with men. We ate shoulder to shoulder. They left together; I left with myself, walking north along Meridian Avenue under the kamani trees.


  1. Love the woman with her feet in the surf, reading.

    'I'm with myself'. Love that too.

  2. N.M.J.: the woman reading was so absorbed in her book.

    Thank you.

  3. I love to be with myself. Sometimes, when somebody asks me for going out or having a coffee or a glas of wine together I answer; Sorry, I'm dating myself. I have an appointment. I use to do this since my youth, and I would say I'm kind of depending on this time alone. I need it. I love it. My husband is different, but by now he's used to my 'habit', and he always let's me. I think it's kind of a meditation, contemplative. And it's important to get a really good place, to honor it. While writing this I can feel my longing for some days, alone with me, at the ocean...
    all the best to you Mim, from cologne, smilla

  4. I love all these images of people - some alone, others in a crowd. Thanks, Mim. It's a different experience, being alone. Both have merit.

  5. Smilla: I like "I'm dating myself." This must have produced surprised reactions.

    Elisabeth: I connect with strangers that echo my state of mind, but sometimes am shocked into an awareness of "others."

  6. oh, that restaurant looks like fun...
    I just changed the garbage bag in the kitchen, MYSELF, no help and put in another one. And filled three bags with old papers earlier today, MYSELF...

  7. Oh, Melissa, you are on the mend. Little by little, kitten.

  8. Good evening to you and 'self'. Alternatively you could say that you're having lunch with your alter ego. If you say it really fast and with an accent it will sound like 'Alfredo', stressed on the second syllable. :-)

    Lovely post and images. Many thanks.

    Greetings from London.

  9. Hello, Cuban in London:

    Here in Miami I'm surrounded by Cubans.

    Thank you for your playful words!

  10. @mim: yes, even anger sometimes. One said to me If you keep dating youzrself you will be very alone one day! But I couldn't help it.. :-)

  11. A gentle series of images, Mim - I especially like the ones of you declining the dark corner table in the restaurant (a fine, self-honoring gesture) and walking yourself contentedly home; arm-in-arm beneath the Kamani trees.

  12. Many thanks for your latest comment on my post about feminism. It was very witty and humorous. If you are interested in taking part in the debate, the thread is still open to participants. Just send me an e-mail. :-) Deadline, Tuesday 30th March.

    Many thanks.

    Greetings from London.

  13. I love your walks. I am fond of eating lunch in restaurants after work when I'm too tired to cook and taking a book with me or my notebook and a pen. I always say I'm waiting for someone so I get a table with lots of room. I go ahead and order an appetizer usually all that I eat and then my date doesn't show! And I have all that room plus an extra napkin. Ha.

    Also I love to see movies alone in fact I prefer it. The people at my glamorous job are always slightly horrified by this. I don't care. I get so absorbed in films and I don't want to be whispered to not for a hot second or asked if I want popcorn or any of it. And I don't like to deconstruct movies directly after seeing them. Opera on the other hand...I always take a date so I can gossip about the musicians I know in the pit!


    But true.


  14. Clever trick, Radish!

    I'm with you about not analyzing films right after seeing them and try not to read reviews before I go to a film, though I did like to read Pauline Kael. Other reviews seems insipid compared to hers.

    Missed Avatar at the theater and will have to settle for a small screen. Have you seen it?